Garbage Island

Im looking for a full time job but I don't want to be a receptionist and definately not for a company I dont agree with.
So I spent most of yesterday on vice's site, and came across this series. It makes me completely want to avoid non organic and consumerised foods. Im half way there! being vegan makes it easier but this will definately effect your thinking.
Its an amazing series, you see dead sea diving at night which they describe as like going into space. But what you see about the state of the ocean is terrible, there no 'garbage island' like i imagined, its just decomposed rubbish everywhere.
Seriously watch it and pass it on




For further episodes:
http://www.vbs.tv/shows/toxic/garbage-island/index.php

I can't describe how inside her head I feel

'Please let him come, and give me the resilience & guts to make him respect me, be interested, and not to throw myself at him with loudness or hysterical yelling; calmly, gently, easy baby easy. He is probably strutting the backs among crocuses now with seven Scandinavian mistresses. And I sit, spiderlike, waiting, here, home; Penelope weaving webs of Webster, turning spindles of Tourneur. Oh, he is here; my black marauder; oh hungry hungry. I am so hungry for a big smashing creative burgeoning burdened love: I am here; I wait; and he plays on the banks of the river Cam like a casual faun'.

What is reality and how can it be confronted?'

Im re reading the Bell Jar, it amazes me how much I see myself in these characters, particually in the Bell Jar and cassie out of skins. how you constantly go over things in your mind, to the extent where you dont no if you altered what your perception of reality is. you go over every detail and dont no which way to think, in the end i decide it best not to think about it at all, but then you feel completely blank. I finally saw my friends last nite, my high school friends, it wasnt for long but I cant describe how good it made me feel it completely regrounds me and makes me feel like nothing has changed and that there will only be problems so long as I let there be. Having said that watching Sex and the City was way to emotional to watch after having just broken off a relationship, but I still value what we had and my friends. Ahh I could make this a bit more poetic but I cant even rap my own head around what Im feeling.

The main thing I got out of the Bell Jar is how Sylvia Plath explores the idea of your own silence, and how defening it can become. Happens all to much over the past few months. That you have the potential to drive yourself insane, and honestely after reading this book the first time I thought about it alot. About shouting out in public, in living reality as if it were a dream and posing actions without considering the reaction or consequence. On tuesday Robbie wanted to take a photo of me and as usual I wouldnt let him. Im constantly striving for this ultimate image of myself, the way people percieve me, envisioning myself as a THING and I dont think Im ever going to get there. these little struggles are the interesting part. I feel beautiful lying here on a blanket on the floor in front of my heater with my mac and the Bell jar, but im distancing myself from people again.
Dad gave me a big talk, its all about relationships he said. So I want to work on my relationships with people as much as possible. Not in a fake way but relise that they are of more importance, good things will come of a good relationship not the other way around.

Virility

Still completely in love with my ex.
So I've spent all night looking at guys to replace him, unfortunately theyre all out of magazines. Thats not completely honest ive been prowling myspace, but I have always loved this series by Vava Ribeiro commissioned for Purple Magazine.

Illuka, near the sea

Im from Australia,
I didnt think much of it growing up, but at 19 when majority of the online stores dont post or exist out here, and the 'we are a country of migrants' approach, makes me feel stripped of a cultural identity. I didnt grow up in the outback or to close to a beach, so theres no dramatic aussie outback influence, but just recently I have come to relise just how fortunate I am to have this to explore. It really is beautiful and so diverse. I plan to travel around all of Australia this year. I really dont care for my degree right now, Im just trying to find out what makes me happy.

The below two videos are a bit of an incite into the lives of some Sydney girls, one is by H&M and the other by models.com. enjoy!


http://models.com/oftheminute/?p=2358

http://www.hm.com/gb/#/aussieguide/

ps. it would be nice to know what your perception of Australia is?